


The Old Tricks

by SpiritStarry



Category: Felix the Cat (Cartoon), The Amazing World of Gumball
Genre: Adventure, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 22:02:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21043487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiritStarry/pseuds/SpiritStarry
Summary: When Gumball's day can't get any worse, he makes a new friend from out of town.





	The Old Tricks

**The Old Tricks**

**An Amazing World of Gumball and Felix the Cat Crossover Fanfiction**

**Handcrafted by SpiritSails and ZaRaapini**

_When Gumball's day can't get any worse, he makes a new friend from out of town._

A gentle hush had fallen over the colorful halls of Elmore Junior High. From the gymnasium to the library, from the main entrance all the way to the cafeteria, hardly any sound could be found. Only the hum of the heating system and the tiny squeak of a rat could be heard, and that was only if you were really paying attention. Such a stillness was unusual for this school. It was so unusual, in fact, that it could mean only one thing: something was happening. Something secret, something that perhaps no faculty member was meant to be privy to.

Thankfully, for the moment, the only two people who knew what was happening were a pair of kids, a blue cat and an orange fish, and even they weren’t entirely sure what was going on themselves.

All they knew for sure was that a new arcade was opening in town, one much bigger and better than the old one, one that promised to be one of the best in the country. This Friday afternoon, today, was its grand opening. Hundreds of games. Prizes ranging from squirt guns to scooters. Junk food galore! All you needed was a childlike amount of free time and a bunch of quarters. Thankfully for the cat and fish, the former was a given, and after saving all their lunch money for a month, the latter was mission accomplished.

They just had to get there.

And they had to get there early.

Well, the blue cat wanted to get there early, before every other kid in school could get their grimy mitts over all the games and so none of the kids who were, perhaps, better than him at said games could get all the good prizes first. They were gonna give out DVDs. _DVDs!_

The orange fish, then. Well, he wasn’t too worried about getting there early. In fact, that reasonable part of his aquatic brain cared not for prizes. He just wanted to bask in the glow of the brilliant arcade lights, to envelop himself in the sound of his peers at play. He had no need for films he could just as well rent at Laser Video. A shame, really, that this orange fish had found himself several feet underground with the blue cat.

A hole dug through the bottom of the blue cat’s locker was the start of a tunnel that led from the youth storage space all the way to the freedom of the city of Elmore. Well, that was the plan, anyway. By not eating, in addition to saving their lunch money, the pair had also saved a lot of time. This meant more of it could be spent digging a tunnel to break out of the joint. For a solid month, every school day, with two plastic spoons from the cafeteria at a time, they dug.

Now, during the last period on a Friday, a magical time when, as the blue cat declared, all guards and assorted authority figures would be too tired to bother noticing a couple missing students, the pair were now just a little bit farther from their way out of their cell.

So close. So close!

“Almost!” said the blue cat to the orange fish.

“How would you know, man?” the orange fish said to the blue cat, gesturing to point out the two were in total darkness, only to realize that gesturing in total darkness was rather a fool’s exercise.

“Darwin, buddy, I got this whole jailbreak mapped out in my _head_,” the blue cat said while tapping his noggin with his finger. “Trust me. It can’t be much farther.”

“Well, either way, I’m getting tired. Take the spoon, Gumball,” Darwin said, the two clumsily changing positions, more than a bit of dirt dropping on their heads in the process.

“You know,” Gumball started, grunting as he dug, “We’d still have two spoons if you didn’t break yours.”

“I told you!” Darwin shouted. “It was an experiment.”

“And what did you _learn?_” Gumball hissed while poking at the dirt with the little, white utensil.

“Rock beats plastic,” Darwin said with a lowered head, dejected.

Before Gumball could start on an elaborate rant, he heard a wonderful noise.

Cracking surface! The light was in sight. This was it. A month’s worth of effort had come to fruition.

“Oh man! _Oh man!_” Gumball and Darwin yelled at the top of their lungs.

This was their first mistake.

“Gumball and Darwin Watterson!!!” crackled a voice behind them.

No, it couldn’t be…

“It’s Miss Simian,” Darwin whispered, shaking Gumball to stress their sudden change in fortune.

“Calm. Down. Darwin,” Gumball said between shakes.

“What do we do?” Darwin asked. If Gumball could see Darwin’s face, he’d know he was as white as a sheet.

“What do we do? We keep moving!” Gumball yelled, wrenching free of Darwin’s grasp and attacking the barrier separating them from a deluge of decadent digital delights.

“What if Miss Simian catches us?!” Darwin wailed, his arms the consistency and appearance of rubber bands.

“She _won’t_ if we just keep moving!” Gumball said, his own arms a literal blur of activity now in the gradually brightening end of the tunnel.

Meanwhile, staring down at the hole in the bottom of Gumball’s locker was Gumball and Darwin’s teacher, Miss Simian, along with the brown fuzzpile, Principal Brown.

“Lucy, dear,” Principal Brown said to Miss Simian, “Are you _absolutely certain _that the Watterson boys are behind all this? You are aware of the… mole problem?” he added with exaggerated air quotes.

“Wha—” Miss Simian said, turning back to look at him, her jaw agape. “Nigel, are you kidding me? We’ve found a _tunnel_, in Watterson’s locker, _and_ the two idiots just yelled at the top of their lungs, and you think it’s _moles?_” She rolled her eyes as she hefted herself into the hole in the locker.

“I’m just saying, if the boys have gone to this much effort, perhaps we should let them go. I mean, think of the paperwork we’d have to file for this!” Principal Brown said with what he felt were just enough wild arm movements to stress his point.

“Those boys have defiled school property _and_ are attempting to get out of out of class! They need to be caught and made… _an_ _example of_,” Miss Simian said with a death glare as she wrung her paws and started to wiggle her way into the tunnel.

Principal Brown stared down the hole with a look of dread across his spectacled face. “Well, you do that, dear. I’m going to stand here and… think about discipline! Yes! Those boys are going to get… what for,” the fuzzpile sighed when he saw Miss Simian was out of sight.

_Fine, leave me here by myself. _I’ll_ dispense justice all on my lonesome!_ If not for the burning desire within her to see that intangible idea served this day, she might not have been able to make her way through the tunnel. It was most certainly _not_ sized for anyone over the age of twelve. Miss Simian made a mental note to add faulty architecture to the Watterson family’s lengthy rap sheet.

The tunnel snaked and squirreled all around underneath the school, only the continued frantic efforts of Gumball telling her to keep moving forward. Finally, she reached the boys’ location, a pile of dirt getting thrown in her face. She coughed violently as she shook it off her head.

Hearing the noise behind them, the boys hesitantly turned around to see Miss Simian right there.

“Well, hey, Miss Simian,” Gumball nodded, there finally being enough light to see as Darwin shook like a leaf with the flu, “Shouldn’t you be in class?”

“Very funny, Watterson!” the primate shouted.

“You’re right,” Gumball said with an impressive amount of bravado for his age, “I am pretty hilarious.”

“Just you wait until I get my hands on you!” Miss Simian screeched.

Eager to claim her prize, she flung her arms forward with vicious glee, only to be brought crashing back down to earth by the fact that her frame simply _did not fit_ in this childish tunnel. A different approach was required here…

“Gumball,” Miss Simian started, tentatively, “I’ve already caught you. Do you really think I’m not going to punish you when you come back to school Monday? Do you think I’m not going to tell your _parents?_” she added with a sinister smile.

“Eh, I’ve been in trouble for worse. And it’s not every day the best arcade in the country opens up in your hometown!” Gumball said, turning his full attention back to his breakout. She was trapped, and couldn’t do anything to get them! “C’mon, Darwin, let’s get ready to party!”

_Darwin! _Miss Simian thought. _Darwin…_

“C’mon, now, Darwin,” Miss Simian said with her most evil smile, her brow curled and her yellowed teeth looking much sharper than usual. “We both know it’s too late for your brother. But not for you! You’re a good kid, aren’t you, Darwin?”

Darwin watched as Miss Simian put on what could only be described the wrinkliest version of a pouty face known to man.

“I promise,” Miss Simian said, holding her hand up, “If you follow me out of this tunnel, I’ll take you back to class and we’ll forget this whole thing ever happened.”

“What? Darwin, you’re not really gonna believe her, are you?! C’mon bro, we’re almost there!” Gumball said, their path to freedom finally illuminated in the form of a tiny crack in the dirt. Just a little bit further.

“I dunno, dude, I kinda just wanna go back to class and… learn about geometry,” Darwin finished in a frighteningly robotic voice, Miss Simian’s words driving him closer to his teacher.

“_Here_, fishy fishy fishy,” Miss Simian said with a beckoning finger and what may well have been her creepiest ever tone of voice. Even Principal Brown shivered as he heard her attempt to lure Darwin toward them.

“Dude, c’mon! This is _Miss Simian_ we’re talking about here!” Gumball pleaded, the crack in the dirt starting to grow wider as desperate cat claws peeled away at it. “C’mon man. I wanna go to the arcade with you…”

Miss Simian doubled down on this new tactic. “I was going to show the class a movie, and I wasn’t even going to make you take notes.”

“Darwin!” Gumball shouted, trying in vain to get the fish’s attention.

“I’m going to do a little trivia game after the film and give out candy to anyone who gives a correct answer,” Miss Simian twitched, just the thought of her doing that making her shiver, but hopefully not enough for Darwin to notice.

“..._candy..._” Darwin mumbled in monotone.

“There’s candy at the arcade, Darwin,” Gumball said, light now streaming into the tunnel. “All the candy you want, without having to watch a dumb video first!”

“I was even thinking of… ending class early,” Miss Simian coughed as she threw up in her mouth a little.

“I can’t actually let you do that!” Principal Brown shouted.

“Be quiet, Nigel!” Miss Simian yelled back and then cleared her throat as she faced Darwin again. “Doesn’t that all sound nice, Darwin? C’mon. Forget the arcade. It’ll be there every day, but school comes only five times a week,” she said at a whisper, the fish now completely under her spell.

The tunnel finally burst open, daylight and freedom and liberty and video games all waiting for the duo on the other side. Gumball leapt up and held out his paw. “C’mon Darwin! Snap out of it! Don’t listen to her!”

But it was too late. Darwin was already following Miss Simian back out of the tunnel.

“Haha _ha!_ I got _you_, Watterson,” Miss Simian laughed as she had the hypnotized fish with her. “Detention! On a Friday! Wait until your parents hear about this one.”

Darwin shook his head violently. Coming back to reality, the fish looked up at his brother with wide eyes. “I’m so sorry, Gumball! I’m _sorry!_”

“_No!_” Gumball shouted and reached his paw out, perhaps with a bit too much drama. “I promise I’ll come back for you! A Watterson never leaves a bro behind!”

“I’d like to see you try, Gumball!” Miss Simian laughed maniacally as she awkwardly backed up out of Gumball's sight, the primate not really able to turn around.

Gumball heard Miss Simian mutter, “Nigel! You choose _now_ to come after me? Just back up. No, just back up! Ouch! Hold still, Watterson. Okay. One at a time…”

Gumball caught his tears in his sleeve as Darwin was taken away from him.

It was thus with the heaviest of hearts that Gumball set out from the Elmore School Detention Center and made his way to that one strip mall in Elmore that everyone ever seemed to visit. Gumball thought that a little bit of gaming would give him a clear enough head to think up a plan to save his brother. He was so ready to pump quarters and mash buttons that his fingers started practicing without him even noticing.

Those fingers, along with the rest of his body, froze up entirely when he saw the yellow stripes taped tightly against the door to the place, along with a note of warning. Gumball gave that note a quick read.

“Ace… beast toes? What the what?! What kind of low-rent nonsense excuse is that?!” he said, beating his tiny fists against the locked door. “Don’t you know the trouble I’ve had to go through to get here?! The horrors I’ve witnessed that will never leave my developing brain! I’ve been waiting for this all my life since a couple months ago! How could you _do_ this to me?!” he wailed, eventually melting down into a literal puddle of despair with a grossly misshapen face.

“Nice trick there, kiddo, but your technique’s all off.”

The new voice startled Gumball. The kitten’s eyes did their best to track onto who just spoke to him and, in spite of his condition, he quirked a brow when he discovered that the voice belonged to another cat, older looking, and all black save for a white patch of fur along his mouth.

“Oh, good. I was worried that I’d get through the whole day without having some weird stranger talk to me,” Gumball said with as much belabored sarcasm as he could muster.

The black cat shrugged, rather nonchalant about the situation. “I’m just saying… if you kept your ears intact, you’d still have a recognizable form. That’s what people look for.”

“Pssh, recognizable forms are _so_ last decade,” Gumball said with a roll of his eyes.

The black cat smirked. “Well, how about I show you how it’s done, kiddo?”

The black cat then proceeded to melt down into a puddle quite similar to Gumball’s, albeit with a pair of pointed cat ears in place of a misshapen face. For a few moments, the black and blue puddles sat next to each other, an awkward silence having fallen over the strip mall.

Then another new voice came in blustering.

“Always the same thing. Traffic and then babies crying and then Rocky wants to do his laundry at our place and— excuse me, sir!” Gumball's long-suffering neighbor, Mr. Robinson, said as he stepped over the Puddle o’ Black Cat. “People these days, thinking they can make puddles anywhere they— whoa!” Mr. Robinson fell to the ground with an audible thud, groaning louder than ever when he saw what he slipped on.

“CONFLARNIT WATTERSON, I COULD HAVE BROKEN MY SPINE! YOU NEED TO BE MORE CAREFUL WHEN MELTING LIKE THAT! LOOK AT HOW _THIS_ ONE DOES IT! BE MORE LIKE HIM!”

Ignoring the tantrum happening before them, the two cats reshaped themselves, the black one looking down at Gumball with a cocky smirk on his face and his paws on his hips.

“Yeah yeah, beginner’s luck! There’s still all kinds of stuff I can do that you can’t,” Gumball said, crossing his arms and looking as smug as someone who had just been shown up could.

“Oh, really?” the black cat chortled, popping off his tail and curling it into the shape of a cane, giving it a twirl in his paw. Mr. Robinson looked on, more than a bit dumbfounded by what he just witnessed.

“I’ve had enough of the cats in this city,” Mr. Robinson muttered as he stood up, dusted himself off, and walked away from those freaks.

“What the what?” Gumball hissed under his breath, before surreptitiously attempting to perform the same trick. His tail wouldn’t seem to just… pop off, the way the other cat’s had, and so he resorted to more direct methods. “Why! Won’t! You! Come! Off!” he shouted as he tried to violently wrench his tail from his body.

“Hey, kiddo, don’t hurt yourself,” the black cat said with both paws held up, signaling for Gumball to slow down.

“Enh! Hrnh! HNNNN— ah forget it. Say, how’d you even do that?”

The black cat reattached his tail, giving Gumball a wink as he said, “That’s a secret.”

“A secret, huh? Well, I’m not gonna let you keep that one from me. C’mon, I gotta know! Think of how cool everyone would think I was if I could do that!” A gleam appeared in the kitten’s eyes, Gumball finding himself lost in a rather vivid daydream of how much more wonderful life would be if he could just turn his tail into a useable cane, among other miscellaneous props.

“I dunno…” the black cat pondered, rubbing his paw on his white chin. “This isn’t something you learn in a day.”

“Pssh, haven’t you ever heard of a training montage?” Gumball asked with no trace of irony.

The black cat kept pondering, a smile quickly spreading across his face as he pointed at the kitten. “I have a better idea! How about _you_ buy me a burger?”

“What? No way! Besides, all I have are quarters for this stupid arcade that won’t open!”

At those words, the black cat took his ears from the top of his head and tipped them like a hat, giving Gumball a small bow and tossing his ears up into the air. He then stood on his tippy toes as his ears flew from the air back down onto his noggin.

For a moment, Gumball stood there with his jaw on the ground.

“So… I might know a place nearby…”

“That’ll be $22.79,” Larry the handy cashier said with a forced smile as he stared down at the two cats.

Gumball reached into his pockets with both paws and took out a mountain of quarters, putting them down on the counter before walking away with the tray of food.

“Keep the change,” Gumball said as a single tear dripped down Larry’s face.

“Never heard of Joyful Burger,” the black cat pondered as he lifted the bun off his sandwich, topping it with a hill of pepper.

“It’s not bad,” Gumball said thickly through a mouthful of burger. “They had to kick my dad out of here once. Said he ate too many thousands of calories in one sitting or something.”

The black cat took a small bite out of his burger, not really listening to Gumball’s story as he stared out the window.

“And then there was the time the cops got called here to resolve a hostage situation, but it was really just Larry cracking from the stress of working every other job in Elmore, and then there was the time the chickens attacked, and then there was…”

Gumball looked up from his sandwich to see the other cat was not paying him much mind.

“And then there was… hey, hey. Hey. Hey. Hey! Hey! _HEY!!!_” Gumball yelled, getting progressively louder until a crash was heard as he vaulted over the table toward his lunch partner.

“No, I lost count!” Larry cried from behind the counter.

The black cat looked up at Gumball. The kitten’s eyes were pure red, his eyebrows were sharp, and jagged teeth were bared across his blue face, but the black cat found himself rather nonplussed.

“It’s _rude_ to not pay attention when someone is telling a story! _Especially_ if they bought you a burger!” Gumball screeched.

“Alright,” the black cat started, putting down his sandwich. “First, the movement was good. Very fluid. But your tail is still slack,” he said, pointing toward Gumball’s behind. “Straight out! Show the anger everywhere! The face change was excellent. I can’t fault you on anything for that. You even made some good noise on the table. Using the environment, that’s where it’s at. Also, did you not brush your teeth this morning?”

“What… who _are you?_” Gumball asked, exasperated, his face contorted into the best approximation of hard thinking he could manage.

“Names aren’t so important right now,” the black cat nodded in agreement to himself.

“I’m Gumball. Gumball Watterson,” the kitten said with an extended paw. The black cat stared at the appendage for a moment, shaking it with more than a fair amount of trepidation.

“Well, Gumball, you have some raw talent for sure,” the black cat noted, “But you’re unrefined. So I'll tell you what. I’m new in town. Visiting for the day. Was gonna hit up that new arcade with a friend, but he’s sick at the hotel. I’m gonna let him get better, and that arcade isn’t opening anytime soon. Until then…” the black cat took another bite of his burger, Gumball watching with bated breath as the older feline let the moment linger. “…I’m gonna finish this, and then you’re gonna to take me to the busiest street in town.”

Gumball gulped, and it wasn’t to swallow the rest of his food.

“TOOMANYCARS TOOMANYCARS TOOMANYCARS,” came a panicked burst of noise from Gumball’s mouth. They were in the middle of the busiest street in Elmore, alright: a four-way, eight-lane intersection where everybody was always in a hurry and everyone seemed to take the traffic lights as a mere suggestion. Cars and trucks and the occasional moped or two all whizzed, shot, and screamed past the pair, and the young, blue cat started to unconsciously grip the arm of the older black one. “TOOMANYCARS did someone say too many cars hahaha nobody said that TOOMANYCARS I wanna leave I wanna leave TOOMANYCARS…” Gumball eventually wore himself out and stood there just about comatose, his face gaunt, his body shivering.

“Tell me, Gumball, what do you see?” the black cat asked, wistful.

“C-c-chaos…” Gumball murmured, a bit of drool escaping his open mouth.

The black cat smiled wide. “Not wrong! But I also see… opportunity. Follow my lead,” At these words, the black cat effortlessly picked up the crosswalk beneath them, something that was once painted on the road now its own object. Then, in one swift movement, his paws flicked the crosswalk up into the air, where it extended like a ladder high into the sky.

“You’re not afraid of heights, are you?” the black cat asked.

“Eh, I’ve had to fly by broomstick across the city to stop a giant from tearing it apart, so I think I can deal,” Gumball said with a relieved shrug, hopping on the ladder and climbing up.

Following Gumball up the ladder, the black cat added, in his most deadpan tone, “You live an amazing life, kiddo.”

Once the pair made it to the top rung of the ladder, they looked down at the busy street below. What once was a minefield of various vehicular threats was now a series of colorful boxes lining their view.

“They look like friendly ants down there. Don’t they, Gumball?!” asked the black cat, spreading his arms wide to take in the view as one would a painting.

“_It’s so cool! _It’s like _SimElmore!_ Look, you can see the whole city from up here!” the blue cat said, a toothy smile on his face. “Behold! I am Lord Gumball, Conqueror-Mayor of Elmore! All that I observe is my domain! Mwahaha!” His fingers hovered menacingly over the city as he started laughing from his own elaborate fantasy.

“Well, I’m glad you’re getting in the mood over there,” the black cat started, “Because I figured we’d start small. But first…”

Reaching up into a cloud above them, the black cat took but a moment to fashion a pair of puffs into the shape of two cones, taking another moment to roll a few more puffs into balls, topping the cones with three scoops of cloudy ice cream each. The black cat handed Gumball a cone.

“Consider us even for the burger,” the black cat said with a wink.

“You’re just a bag full of tricks, aren’t you?” Gumball said as he gave his ice cream a conscientious first lick. “Hey! This is pretty good!” His curiosity not having gotten him killed (or retching, at least), he started digging into it with gusto, until all that remained of his ice cream was a smudge surrounding his mouth and a few lonely drops that found their way onto his shirt. He gave his companion a thumbs up. “Thanks! So, what’s next?”

The black cat smiled, his tail twitching as he spoke. “That’s up to you, kiddo. Look down at the street below. I like to think I’ve given you a whole new perspective on the situation. What I want from you is to use your instincts and bend reality just a little bit.”

“Bend reality… bend reality… dude, I’m gonna be honest here. I’m not sure I’ve got the muscle mass to do that. Also, I dunno man. That sounds like a lot of work for someone with a public school education in a working-class socioeconomic status.”

The black cat looked Gumball square in the eyes. “Give yourself some credit, kiddo! Remember, the trick is to not think about it too much. You’re the one in charge here. The world is a part of you. Just know what you want…” the black cat said as he reached out, balling his paw into a fist, and then wrenched it back toward himself, “…and take it!”

_Know what I want… and take it. Know what I want… and take it._ Gumball thought as he looked down at the street that had been so daunting earlier. From up here, the cars and trucks indeed looked just like colorful little boxes darting around, powered by some unknown source. He leaned out over the edge of the ladder and tried to pick up one of the boxes. _WHAT THE WHAT?!_ As he stood up and pulled his arm back, he checked and _yep_, sure enough, there was a tiny little black sedan fit between his thumb and index finger.

“Hahaha! I did it!” he said, pumping that same paw up and down and up and down and up and down. “Wait… do you hear something?” Putting his ear closer his paw, Gumball heard a series of rather high-pitched wails, as well a cry or two for ‘mother.’

Indeed, flea-sized versions of the obnoxious blue egg, Billy Parham, and his equally loathsome mother were sprawled about inside, their seats smashed and their windows spider-webbed. They both also happened to be screaming their heads off at this terrible, giant, _uncouth _monster who had wrecked their beloved vehicle.

Acting quickly, the black cat gingerly took the car out of Gumball’s paw, giving a small-voiced apology to the Parhams as he placed the little sedan back down onto the road… where it proceeded to block traffic considerably, tiny horns beeping down below.

Gumball continued to cheer. “It worked! I can’t believe it worked!” Gumball looked over at the black cat and beamed.

The black cat looked back and smiled in turn. “I can’t believe it worked so _well_, kiddo. You are a natural!”

“What else can we get up to?!” Gumball started, curious as a cat can be.

The black cat thought for a brief moment. “Well… something less destructive comes to mind.”

After they were back down the ladder, the black cat made easy work of putting it back on the road. He then asked Gumball to lead him somewhere the blue cat visited quite often. After a quick walk away from the endlessly snaking and twisting traffic jam, the two cats arrived at Laser Video.  


“Oh no, not again…” Larry mumbled under his breath. Aware that his boss was tracking his every customer interaction, he put on a tacky smile and braced himself for the inevitable Watterson mayhem. “Welcome! Need help finding anything today?”

“Eh, I’m sure something’ll hit me soon enough. Something less destructive…” Gumball said as he tapped on his chin, ignoring the increasingly strained grin and twitching eye on Larry’s face once the rock heard Gumball’s words. Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, Gumball appeared seated on the counter in front of Larry. “Hey, how many DVDs can me and my friend here rent at a time?”

Larry ground his teeth to shards as he spoke. “Well, what with video rental stores dying around the country, you can take out as many as you like, just so long as you return them in pristine condition.”

“In that case…” Gumball blinked once more and appeared at the rack of videos. “Hope you’re ready, buddy!” he called over to his black cat companion. “‘Cuz I feel the need! The need… for speed!” Excitedly, he started gathering every single case he could find, the gears turning in his head. _Cases for the frames, discs for the wheels and steering… and just knowing what I want and taking it_. When his frenzy died down, the shelves had been stripped bare, and a precarious mountain of media was placed on every available surface on Larry’s counter.

At this point, the only thing that kept Larry's hope alive was that Watterson couldn’t _possibly_ have any money left after lunch to pay for all of these.

“Allow me,” the black cat said as he casually strolled up to the counter. Eyeing Larry, he asked simply, “How much?”

Larry’s eye twitched furiously as he dutifully tallied up each and every last video that that accursed blue cat insisted on trying to buy for… _something_. “That’ll be $465.80, please!” Larry felt smug. If this other cat was palling around with Watterson, there was no _way_ he’d be able to cover that.

The black cat idly patted at his sides, as if searching his pockets, a curious thing considering he wore no clothes. Regardless, in a blink of Larry’s eyes, an audible thunk echoed through the room, Larry’s jaw dropping at the sight of another mountain of quarters shining under the fluorescent lights of the tiny store.

“Keep the change,” the black cat nodded.

“Why me?” Larry wailed through his hands.

“Sorry, buddy. That’s just the life of the comedic straight man,” Gumball said as he hefted the tower of movies off the counter and out into the street.

“If it’s any consolation,” the black cat started as he followed Gumball out the door, “I’ll be happy to give you a five star review.”

“I guess that’s all I could really ask fo—” Larry said as he picked up one of the quarters from the pile, before every other one tumbled on top of him in a metal avalanche, nothing left in view but his hand holding a single glinting silver coin.

Catching up to Gumball, the black cat tilted his head down to face the kitten and asked, “So, what’s on your mind?”

Gumball dropped the hefty pile of DVDs onto the sidewalk and rubbed his paws together mischievously, an impish grin on his face. “Well, you’ve never been to Elmore before, and I hate walking, so I figured, why not go for a ride?” As he finished speaking, he became a blur of activity, the cases and discs flying around this, that, and the other way, the din of creation only barely drowning out his gleeful cackling. When the dust settled, he stepped away to let his companion marvel at his ingenuity. Before them were two rather ramshackle-looking go-karts, but they managed to hold together when Gumball gave one a hearty slap.

The black cat whistled, then shook his head as he gave a slight laugh. “There is _no way _that rock guy is gonna let me back into that store after he sees what you’ve done here.”

“You’d be surprised! Larry’s slavish devotion to all the minimum-wage service jobs in town means that he’s always too tired to actually do anything about the frustration and hatred he feels toward almost all things!” Gumball said with an innocent smile.

“Your honesty is smooth and refreshing,” the black cat said as he grabbed the steering wheel of his go-kart. “Now where to, kiddo?”

“Everywhere! Cue the montage!” Gumball said as his kart roared with impressive power, shaking the windows of every store as he rocketed down the street. He took his turns with reckless abandon, the grin on his face becoming more of a permanent fixture the longer the pair drove around. All of his worries and fears from the day faded from his mind as the pair zipped and zigged and zagged and ducked and weaved through the side streets, the back alleys, and the unseen trails dotted around Elmore. By the time he thought to stop, they were both out in the hills overlooking the town, where it once again resembled a friendly ant colony.

“Man… can’t believe I never thought to do this before!” Gumball said as he looked over his go-kart with pride, right before the mean machine splintered into a million pieces. “Huh, guess DVDs really are a dying medium,” Gumball said with a complete deadpan expression.

Gumball turned to see the black cat lying on his back, the poor older feline completely covered in shards of discs, his own go-kart but a memory as well.

With wide eyes, the black cat looked over at Gumball, saying, “You’ll get better with practice.”

“Hehe… sorry,” Gumball said, rubbing the back of his head. “Y’know… can’t help but think now that I have a chance to, that there was something I forgot…”

Meanwhile, in Elmore Junior High, Darwin, trapped in Miss Simian’s classroom for detention, smiled brightly at the pencil he held in his fin.

Still down on his back, the black cat shrugged. “If it was important, I’m sure you’d have remembered it by now.”

“No, really,” Gumball said. “It’s gotta be something.”

Darwin waggled the pencil in the air, admiring it as it appeared to ripple like rubber in his grip.

“It’ll come to you,” the black cat nodded.

As the black cat said those words, a cheery ringtone sounded from his invisible pocket. Standing up and shaking off most of the DVD pieces from his fur, the black cat took out his equally black phone and said, “I gotta take this,” as he turned his back to Gumball and walked under a nearby tree.

_Seriously… who _is _this guy?_ Gumball thought as he paced through the wreckage of the go-karts while his new friend chatted on the phone about… _something_. With _someone_. This guy had other friends, obviously. And he couldn’t help but feel like he’d seen him somewhere before… like on TV. These tricks he was showing him… they didn’t seem entirely new to Gumball, but the way he did them. It was like this guy had been doing them… forever. Could he really be?

“Aha!” Gumball shouted, a flock of birds reacting to the sudden noise by flying from the tree the black cat was standing under and out toward the horizon.

The black cat looked over at Gumball, more than a bit confused. “I promise I’ll get back to you. Try to relax,” he said into his phone before he hung up. “What’s up, kiddo?” the black cat asked as he looked down at his phone, idly poking at its screen.

“_I_ know your secret!” Gumball shouted triumphantly.

The black cat dropped his phone.

Meanwhile, Darwin shook his pencil faster than ever, eliciting a cleared throat from Miss Simian, bringing the fish mostly back to attention as he put the pencil back on his desk, barring the occasional sideline glance at the writing implement.

“I’m not sure what you mean,” the black cat said with a tilt of his head.

“Don’t you play coy with me! You tried your best to hide it, but nothing escapes the tenacious eyes of a Watterson!” Gumball said with a gruffness his age just couldn’t hope to match. “It was obvious, really. I never thought I’d see you in Elmore, but here you are… the world’s most famous cat. You’re…”

Holding his paws up, the black cat spoke through forced laughs. “Hey, kiddo, please. It can’t be that big a deal, ri—”

“…the GENERICAT CAT FOOD CAT!” Gumball yelled as he pointed an accusatory finger at the black cat, a glint in the kitten’s squinting eyes as he stared up at the older feline.

The black cat picked up his phone. “You got me,” he sighed. “I’m sorry for keeping it a secret. You just gotta be careful in the public eye, y’know? It’s a twisted world out there.”

“‘GeneriCat: For the Average Cat!’” Gumball shouted with glee as he vibrated a little bit. “You’re like a role model to incredibly normal cats all around the country!”

The GeneriCat Cat Food Cat chuckled at the overly excited kitten. “No autographs, please.”

“I can’t believe it, it’s really you! I can’t believe I got to spend the whole afternoon hanging out with you! Oh man, I bet Da—” Gumball’s words got caught in his throat, his entire body frozen in place.

“Da…” the GeneriCat Cat Food Cat started, walking up to the kitten and waving a paw in front of his petrified face.

“Da… DARWIN!” Gumball shouted at the top of his lungs, the leaves on the tree the GCFC was standing under turning into other birds that also flew away.

Like a rubber band, Gumball suddenly snapped back to reality and grabbed the GCFC by his nonexistent collar. “You gotta help me! I almost escaped school with my brother, but he got captured and he’s in detention and IsaidI’dcomebackforhimandIdidn’tbecauseIforgooooooot,” he wailed, sinking once again into a literal puddle of despair, his only defining feature a pair of pointed, blue cat ears.

The GCFC smiled wide at Gumball, crossing his arms and nodding in approval. “Gumball…” he started.

“Pleeeeeeeeeeeasehe’sallalonewithMissSimian!”

The GCFC’s expression changed quickly, his smile shifting to a frown as wide as his perfectly round head.

“Kiddo,” the GCFC started again, “You’re good. You’ve got a lot to learn, but you’ve got more raw talent than I’ve seen in a long time. I promise I’m gonna help you get your brother, and we’re gonna do it right. I think this is what you’ve been training for. I bet you could show me some serious tricks here.”

Gumball’s body slowly returned to form the more his ears picked up what the GCFC was saying to him. By the time Gumball was once again a blue cat, he was locked into a determined pose, bent arms pressed tight against his sides with balled fists out in front, and a confident smirk on his face. “Yeah! Because I’m Gumball Watterson, and nobody locks up my bro!”

“That’s right!” the GCFC shouted, pumping his fist into the air.

Gumball sniffed as he wiped the tears his eyes. “You know, this really means a lot… coming from the GeneriCat Cat Food Cat.”

The GCFC bit his lip, breathing long and hard through his nose.

After an incredibly long and awkward walk back to the city, one wherein Gumball asked several increasingly probing questions about the intricacies of selling cat food on national TV, the two cats stood by a wall of Elmore Junior High. When they got there, the pair stepped over a hole filled with drying concrete, each glance at it sending pangs of guilt through Gumball’s body.

Before the GCFC could ask a single question about the break in, Gumball took out a grappling hook from a nearby bush.

“This… _might_ not be my first time…” Gumball said as he stared up at the roof, aiming the grappling hook with a closed eye and stuck out tongue.

The GCFC just stood there with his arms crossed, having learned to accept Gumball’s words with no questions asked.

Tossing the hook over the roof, Gumball gave his rope a satisfied tug, and started to walk up the side of the building. “Just follow me, buddy,” he said, a determined smile on his face. His face went blank though when, halfway up the building, his rope started to tear and fray. Before the kitten knew it, he was quickly, and _violently_, reintroduced to the ground. “…Ow.”

“Gumball,” the GCFC started as he stood over and stared down at the bruised and battered kitten. “What did we learn today?”

“Bend reality,” Gumball said with a cough, “And know what I want and take it.”

“That’s right! Now… let’s go for a classic here,” the GCFC said as he popped his tail off his backside.

_How the what does he do that?!_ Gumball thought, still lying flat on the ground. _Extra ow…_

Gumball watched as the GCFC pulled at the end of his black appendage, the whole thing shaping into something not too dissimilar from the grappling hook that had failed the kitten not but a minute ago. When the GCFC tossed the hook over the roof, Gumball watched with wide eyes and dropped jaw as the black cat managed to not only scale the side of the building, but have his tail lift him up like a winch.

When the GCFC made it onto the roof, he popped his head over the edge of the building and shouted down at Gumball, “It’s not nearly as hard as it looks. If you’re able to change the world around you, then you can change yourself. The same principles apply. Like always, kiddo, just focus on what you want, nothing else, and be what you need.”

_Focus on what I want, be what I need… focus on what I want, be what I need…_ Gumball repeated the words over and over in his head, using them as a sort of mantra as he picked himself up off the ground and held his paw out to his side. His eyes closed, he shook a little, and his breathing picked up, but when he opened his eyes, there was a blue grappling hook clasped within his paw. “What the _what?!_” he hissed under his breath, his shaking threatening to set off an earthquake sensor. “Okay… I’ve got what I need now,” he said up to his companion. Gumball then twirled his hook around, and let it soar high in the air, landing firmly on the edge of the roof.

And sure enough, he started to get winched up by it! _Hey, this is great! Wait, why is it getting faster? Too fast, too fast, TOOFAST!_

As Gumball reached what he was sure was escape velocity, he only barely registered the GCFC in the corner of his eye reaching up and securing his leg, thus preventing him from entering a new zip code. Unfortunately, all this kinetic energy had to go _somewhere_, and both cats ended up slamming quite ferociously onto the roof, leaving two feline-shaped imprints and an impressive cloud of dust in their wake.  
  
“Darn moles…” Miss Simian muttered inside, having heard the commotion as she read from _Discipline Monthly_ magazine. Darwin took Miss Simian’s distraction as another chance to keep shaking that pencil. It was like legally distinct gelatin substance in his fin!

Meanwhile, the GCFC sat on the roof, his eyes crossed and a few different birds of paradise flying around his head. “Maybe I should’ve stood back a bit,” he coughed. He then shook his head, most of the birds flying off, although one did stay and land on the black cat’s shoulder.

“Hello!” the big, colorful bird squawked.

“Oh, hey there, Polly,” the GCFC muttered to the bird on his shoulder, still a bit dazed. “Long time, no see.”

“Hello!” the bird said again dumbly, her beady, black eyes darting around with a few twists and turns of her head.

“Can all it say is ‘hello’?” Gumball said weakly, staggering to his feet and picking up his tail. That was weird… his tail wasn’t going back on. He jabbed himself with the appendage, once, twice, then dozens of times in rapid succession, each attempt more fruitless than the last, all his work only serving to cause him even _more_ pain. “Why…” was all he could muster before he fell back down.

“Sorry, bub, I need a few minutes after something like that,” he heard his tail say. He heard his… tail… say. “What the what?! _Agh!_” Gumball screamed.

“What the what?! What the what?!” Polly screeched as she landed on Gumball’s head.

“You heard me, you big palooka!” Gumball’s tail yelled as it curled up on the roof. “Dang kid thinking they can just _use me_. You’re all the same,” the appendage grumbled as Gumball stared on with eyes wider than his head.

“You get used to that,” the GCFC nodded as he stood up and dusted himself off. The black cat walked over to the kitten, offering him a paw back up.

“I don’t know if I’ll _ever_ get used to that,” Gumball said, shivering more from fear than pain as he stood back up with the other cat’s help. “So, I think now we should get inside the vents. They’ll lead us right to Darwin. Once we’re there, we can come up with a plan to bust him out,” Gumball said as he shook himself off, his brotherly love refilling his resolve.

“What? You didn’t have a plan already?!” Gumball’s tail yelled. “Get a load of this mook over here!”

“Hey, you stay out of this! I always make stuff up as I go, and it almost always works out! Except for the times that it doesn’t! But that won’t be this time!” Gumball shouted back… at his own tail. This was all still a bit too weird for the kitten, but he had bigger fish to worry about for now. Heh, bigger fish.

After a couple more minutes were spent sending Polly off toward her other birdy friends (and convincing Gumball’s tail to go back where it belonged) the two cats started crawling through the vents. Thankfully for the both of them, this was not the first, second, third, nor fifty-sixth time the blue cat had wandered these cramped, metal corridors, and as such, he had a generally good idea of the layout of the school from above. The kitten led the pair with confidence through the seemingly unending maze of dust and loose change, until he finally stopped moving.

“Okay, I’m pretty sure that Miss Simian’s classroom is right below us,” Gumball whispered, pointing below him with exaggerated dramatic effect.

“Wait a minute,” the GCFC said, darting his head around. “Did you hear that?”

Indeed, there was a gentle _pitter-patter-pitter-patter_ echoing through the vents now, and it was getting louder… which meant there was someone, or some_thing_ getting closer! “What should we do?” Gumball whispered in panic.

“Maybe it’s just a rat,” the GCFC said, licking his lips. The black cat then hoped that Gumball didn’t see him doing that.

Fortunately for him, Gumball was too wrapped up in his panic to have noticed his older companion’s stereotypically feline nature slipping through. _No, we _can't _have someone screw this up now. Not when we’re so close to Darwin!_

The pitter-patter grew, and grew, and _grew_, until finally…

“Oh, hey guys! Exploring the vents too, I see! Find anything neat? Usually I dig holes under the school, but I always wondered what was up here.”

“Banana Joe! What are you_ doing?!_” Gumball whisper-shouted.

“I dunno, what are you guys doing?” Banana Joe asked, an empty look on his face.

“We’re… it doesn’t matter why we’re up here!” Gumball said, rolling his eyes. All the panic and fear and dread he’d been feeling had been replaced with sheer annoyance.

“Hey, wanna see this cool yo-yo I found?!” Banana Joe said quite suddenly, producing a black and blue yo-yo from… somewhere. His face was a blissfully ignorant smile as he let it drop and then thud on the bottom of the vent.

“Wow, dude, really cool,” the two cats said in unison.

“No, wait, it’ll be cool, I promise!” Banana Joe said, panicking a little as he slowly pulled and wrapped the string back around the toy, the process taking quite a few awkward moments. Banana Joe tried again, only for the toy to slam into the face of Gumball’s companion. “Oh, geez, I’m sorry! Here, lemme take care of that!”

Meanwhile, down below, Miss Simian slammed her magazine down onto her desk, the thin periodical somehow cracking the wooden surface, and shot Darwin a scowl as she saw him still trying to have _fun_ while in detention! But that was the least of the primate’s worries. That sound earlier, the noise in the vents above; that wasn’t moles! It was _Watterson_. It _had_ to be.

Back in the vents, Banana Joe was rubbing his hand over the bump on the GCFC’s head. “There, there. You’ll be okay,” Banana Joe soothed. What Banana Joe didn’t see was the look of unmatched contempt on the black cat’s face.

The GCFC slowly turned to face Gumball. “You see now why I usually don’t work with kids?”

Before Gumball could answer, the kitten caught the sound of screeching metal, a clanging and banging filling everyone’s ears as the trio shook in the vents. Just as suddenly as the clanging and banging began, it stopped, and was replaced with the far more unpleasant sensation of falling and landing. They, the vents, and the stupid yo-yo crashed down next to Darwin in a twisted pile of pain, the toy once again thunking the GCFC in the head.

Miss Simian’s classroom door suddenly slammed open, and in came a very flustered Principal Brown. The furious fuzzy slug pointing with all the authority he could muster.

“INFRASTRUCTURE!” he shouted, looking to the pile of people in the class, then over to Miss Simian, the look of sheer rage on her face somehow wrapping back around to serenity.

He then looked back to the people pile, then to Miss Simian. People pile, Simian. Pile, Simian. Pile, Simian.

“Perhaps I should go…” Principal Brown slowly started backing out of the door.

“Oh, no, you don’t!” Miss Simian screeched. “You see?! You see what these Watterson children are capable of if they’re unsupervised?! They should have full-time guards following them everywhere they go!”

“Hey, don’t blame us for massive budget cuts leading to a decline in public school facilities!” Gumball shouted from within the wreckage.

“Yes, barkeep. I want milk, please and thank you,” the GCFC said in a daze, Polly once again showing her beady eyes as she flew around the classroom, landing on Miss Simian’s head.

“_RAWRK! WHAT THE WHAT?! WHAT THE WHAT?! RAWRK! RIGHTY-O!”_

“Wait a minute, I know this bird from somewhere…” Miss Simian muttered, rubbing her chin in contemplation. Her anger at being chosen for a perch caused her to quite literally heat up, the primate turning a bright shade of cherry red. Almost as red as her butt, in fact.

“No pets in the classroom!” Principal Brown shouted as he covered his face, Polly having flown from Miss Simian’s head and now flapping her wings in the brown fuzzpile’s eyes.

As Polly made herself clearly known to all present, the people pile slowly untangled itself.

“Y’see, Darwin? I told you I’d come back for you!” Gumball said with a toothless smile, a small flock of songbirds circling his own head as he stumbled about the room.

The orange fish looked around as shocked as can be. The fish’s pencil flopped over the edge of his desk, the writing implement turning out to have been made of rubber the whole time.

“And I helped!” Banana Joe shouted, pointing at himself in pride.

“Go home, Banana Joe,” Principal Brown sighed while Polly settled on the fuzzy slug’s shoulder.

“Okay!” Banana Joe shouted, both hands up in the air as he waddled out of sight.

“Dude, what kind of a rescue is this?!” Darwin said in hushed, fearful tones as his eyes took in more of the carnage that’d so narrowly avoided hitting him.

The GCFC stood up and dusted himself off, looking over to Darwin. The black cat held his paw out to the fish. “A pleasure to meet you. Any friend of Gumball’s is a friend of mine.”

“Oh, hello, mister!” Darwin said with a simple smile, the fish never missing a chance to be quite the polite boy as he held out one of his fins, shaking the black cat’s paw with his usual enthusiasm.

“Well then,” Miss Simian said as she laughed to herself, everything finally clicking into place for her once she got a clear look at the black cat. “I never thought I’d see you again.”

Principal Brown gasped and hopped up and down, having seen the black cat for the first time himself. “Lucy! You know the GeneriCat Cat Food Cat?!”

“What? No!” Miss Simian stood, shocked, and turned to yell at the lump of fuzzy hair. “You don’t know who that is?!”

“Oh my gosh!” Darwin shouted. “I shook fins with the GeneriCat Cat Food Cat!”

Miss Simian looked on with a perfectly flat expression on her face as Principal Brown and Darwin talked over each other, Gumball joining in the chorus of excited fans as the GCFC blushed and kept his head low.

“That’s Felix the Cat, you dolts!” Miss Simian screamed more than loud enough for all to hear, as well as enough for a frightened Polly to fly out of an open window in the classroom.

The black cat cleared his throat. This was it. The secret was out. An awkward silence fell over the classroom.

Time stood still.

“_Who?_” Gumball, Darwin, and Principal Brown each asked, the three of them staring at each other, hoping one of them had the answer.

“Lucy, dear, are you certain that’s not the GeneriCat Cat Food Cat?” Principal Brown asked as he walked over to the primate, his arms gripping one of Miss Simian’s.

“Do you people _seriously_ not know who Felix the Cat is?!” Miss Simian yelled as she shook off Principal Brown’s grip. “Felix the Cat! The Wonderful, Wonderf—” Miss Simian looked around to realize none of the three had a _clue _what she was talking about.

Meanwhile, the black cat looked around the room and sighed.

“He’s been in cartoons for _one hundred years!_” Miss Simian screeched.

“Well, technically, I’m in a kind of, sort of semi-retirement,” Felix muttered, lightly kicking the yo-yo on the floor.

Gumball gasped. “Dude…” he started, looking over at the black cat with a measure of hurt in his eyes, “Miss Simian actually isn’t lying right now?” His ears wilted as he shrank a little.

An evil smile fell upon Miss Simian’s face. Finally, the moment belonged to her. With crossed arms, she spoke.

“I guess the cat’s out of the bag.”

Everyone stared at Miss Simian in utter annoyance. Once again that day, there was not a sound to be found throughout the whole school. Not even the rat made a squeak as she stared at Miss Simian with more than her fair share of disdain.

As Gumball and Felix looked over to Miss Simian, for once in recorded history, neither of the cats had a witty remark on hand.

“What’s the matter?” Miss Simian asked. “Cat got your to—”

“Lucy, dear, please,” Principal Brown whispered, again squeezing the primate’s arm.

“Did I miss a whole lot?” Darwin asked, the fish scratching his head.

“Let’s just say we might wanna stay clear of Joyful Burger and Laser Video for a while,” Gumball said to his brother.

“Why? What did you do?!” Darwin squeaked.

“Doesn’t matter right now! The only question I have is _who_ _are you?!_” Gumball hopped up onto a desk and pointed at the highly embarrassed black cat in front of him.

“Heh…” Felix started, his tail twitching. “Well, Miss Simian here summed it up pretty well, that’s for sure. Let’s just say I’ve been in the business for a while now.” The black cat looked over to the primate. “But not nearly as long as her,” Felix quietly laughed to himself. “She and I go back quite a ways.”

“He was one of my worst students,” Miss Simian chided, her memory of the black cat not even remotely hazy in spite of her incredibly long history of teaching.

“Worse than me?” Gumball asked, a somewhat hopeful gleam in his eye.

“No, not even close,” Miss Simian said flatly.

“So, wait,” Gumball thought, pacing on the desk. “Felix…” Gumball realized he was going to have to get used to calling the black cat by that name. “You tormented Miss Simian too?”

“Oh, yeah! And let’s face it, she deserves it,” Felix said, his paw pointed toward the primate, both her and Principal Brown looking upon the black cat with unamused expressions. “When you mentioned her name I just knew I had to help you.”

“But why’d you lie to me?” Gumball asked, still a bit hurt.

“Gumball, be honest with me,” Felix said, “If you thought some one hundred year old cat was trying to tell you what to do, would you really listen?” the black cat asked, ashamed of himself.

“Well, I mean…” Gumball said, hesitating a little. _Would_ he listen to an old fart of a cat trying to tell him how to perform better? Would he have listened to _anyone_ trying to get him to do better if they hadn’t been so mysterious about it?

“You still coulda told me after we rode go-karts together,” Gumball said sadly, hopping off of the desk and looking rather morose.

“I’m sorry, Gumball,” Felix said as he walked up to the kitten, “I guess I was worried what you’d think. It’s not every day someone actually thinks I’m cool. I guess I milked the attention a little too much, huh?”

“I guess I can’t really be that mad. Sometimes I kinda let it go to my head too, when someone thinks I’m cool,” Gumball said sheepishly before he reached out suddenly and pulled Felix into a tight bro-hug. “I forgive you, buddy.”

Felix jumped back a bit, startled by the kitten’s choice in gesture, but he soon hugged Gumball just the same.

“D’aww!” Darwin cooed, still dutifully seated at his assigned desk.

“Well, this is all very nice,” Miss Simian whispered, “But there’s still the matter of you _breaking in and out of the school all in the same day!!!_” the primate hollered, barely resisting the urge to trash the room out of a deep-seated rage.

“Not to mention the property damage!” Principal Brown nodded, the fuzzpile pleased that he was somehow able to insert himself into the conversation.

“Aw, c’mon there, Lucy,” Felix said with a smirk, “Cut the kiddo a break. He was learning. Getting a personal lesson on some of the more magical parts of reality from yours truly. Practical experience!”

“What, you think you actually managed to teach _Gumball Watterson_ something? That kid couldn’t learn 2 + 2 if you glued a math book to his head. Don’t make me laugh! Seriously, don’t make me laugh, my doctor warned me it could cause a stroke,” Miss Simian said, a vicious scowl on her face.

“Maybe I’ve just never had a good teacher until now,” Gumball said fiercely, standing next to Felix proudly. “He taught me all _sorts_ of stuff today!”

Miss Simian shook her head. “This I’d like to see.”

“Me too!” Darwin chirped, the fish swinging his legs under his desk.

Gumball’s teeth showed as he yelled. “You _will_ see! I bet that by using what I learned today, I could put on a show that even _you_ would love, Miss Simian!”

“A bet?!” Principal Brown shook, excited as can be.

“We’re not gambling, Nigel!” Miss Simian tried, but it was too late.

“What are yours terms?” Principal Brown asked, rubbing his chin contemplatively, still shaking.

“I bet…” Gumball stopped and thought for a moment. “I bet that if I can make Miss Simian laugh, then Darwin and I won’t have to do anymore detention for what happened today.”

  
“And if you _can’t_ make Lucy laugh?!” Principal Brown asked, practically vibrating where he stood.

“Then I’ll do detention with these kids,” Felix said with a force Gumball had never heard from him before.

“Dude…” Gumball whispered up at Felix, the confidence the blue cat had found quickly leaving him.

Felix looked down at Gumball, a small and honest smile on his face. The black cat simply said, “I believe in you.”

Miss Simian had sat at her desk as the terms were set. Propping her feet up, she rolled her eyes. “You know what? Fine! Go for it, Watterson. Good luck. You’ll need it.”

Gumball started to gulp, then stopped himself. Felix believed in him, Darwin needed him, and Gumball could _do this_. He rubbed his eyes for a moment as he thought of something, anything, that would show off what Felix had taught him today _and_ accomplish the seemingly impossible task of getting Miss Simian to laugh. Suddenly, like a blast from a past he’d never experienced, he knew what he had to do.

“I know I put you through the ringer earlier, buddy, but you think you can be a microphone for me?” Gumball whispered to his tail.

“A microphone? You kidding me? After trying to lug your deadweight up the side’a that building? That’s small potatoes!” it shouted as it popped off the kitten’s rear and into his paws.

“Alright…” Gumball said, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes._ “Give yourself some credit, kiddo! Remember, the trick is to not think about it too much. You’re the one in charge here. The world is a part of you. Be what you need. Just know what you want… and take it!”_

“We’re all waiting, Watterson!” Miss Simian hollered at the kitten.

Gumball’s eyes snapped open, and the classroom was remade into a vaudeville stage, the debris having been cleared away, the desks all turned into saloon chairs and tables. The classroom materials had all been remade into various props for the kitten to use, and of course, instruments to provide his backing music. Gumball, now wearing a nice seersucker suit, shouted, “Ready, everyone?! Lemme hear it, boys!”

The refashioned piano, brass instruments, and drums all kicked off on a high-tempo jazz beat, settling into a steady rhythm as Gumball started to sing.

“My dad would never preach to me, in fact he’d never teach to me, the different things that I should do when I am here and there.” As he sang, he started to move around the set, and out into the audience. Everything just felt… right. He picked up a handful of props and kept on singing.

“In fact he said ‘Go on alone, you have ideas of your own, you’ll never lose if you will use the others fair and square.’” Miss Simian hadn’t started laughing yet, but she noticed her foot started to wiggle and woggle along with the beat. She hmphed and grabbed at it to stop it from moving, only for her other one to start doing it as well. Had she heard this song before, long ago? How did _Watterson_ know something like this?!

“That’s just as far as he’d advise, until one day to my surprise, I went to say that I was going out to other lands to live. And as I went to say goodbye, he saw a teardrop in my eye, said he, ‘My lad, ah that’s too bad, I’ve some advice to give.’”

Felix sat beaming in his seat, watching the little kitten belt out one of his old favorites. _Way to go, kiddo._

“Always leave ‘em laughing when you say goodbye! Never linger long about, or else you’ll wear your welcome out! When you meet a fellow with a tear-dimmed eye, you can leave ‘em laughing if you try!” As Gumball moved into the chorus, he started playing with the props, juggling all of them smoothly. Binders that looked like a birdhouse, notebooks shaped like a pyramid, pencils and erasers arranged into scale models of the galaxy, anything and everything he pleased. They morphed and rippled and were even sometimes interchanged with members of the audience, leaving them bewildered before they were mysteriously placed back in their seats.

“When he tells his troubles interrupt him with a joke! Tell him one he's never heard and he'll declare that it's a bird! When he's giggling good you know that's the time to turn and go always leave them laughing when you say goodbye!” The music kept playing as Gumball suddenly appeared lounging on the corner of Miss Simian’s desk.

“How about a big round of applause for Miss Simian, folks?! She’s such a good sport! But then again, I guess only Principal Brown would know.” Miss Simian blushed as Principal Brown cleared his throat.

“Always leave ‘em laughing when you say goodbye! Never linger long about, or else you’ll wear your welcome out! When you meet a fellow with a tear-dimmed eye, you can leave ‘em laughing if you try!” Gumball hopped back into the middle of the stage, before strutting back down the middle of an aisle that formed before him.

“When he tells his troubles interrupt him with a joke! Tell him one he's never heard and he'll declare that it's a bird!” Gumball belted the final word out, and the music wound down. A calmed silence fell about the room as Gumball suddenly appeared on top of Miss Simian’s desk again.

“So one day, two cat owners are arguing about whose is smarter, see? And the one lady says to her friend, ‘My cat is so smart, he waits for the paper and brings it to me every morning!’ And her friend says, ‘Well duh, I knew _that_. My cat already told me about it!’”

Gumball looked at Miss Simian with a cheeky smile, and then, _there it was_. Indubitably, undoubtedly, his ancient archrival let out a small, but distinct, chortle.

Sure, maybe it was the teeniest, tiniest laugh he had ever heard, but he heard it, and that was that.

Gumball backflipped off the desk as the music kicked back up for one last hurrah. “When he's giggling good you know that's the time to turn and go and always leave them laughing when. You. Say. Goodbye!” He stretched the final note out and took a series of bows.

As the music settled down, the classroom returned to normal. Everyone else who had watched Gumball stood stock-still, their jaws dropped.

Gumball laughed nervously, pulling at his collar as an awkward silence fell over the room.

Then everyone broke out into applause!

“Bravo, bravo!” Felix shouted as Darwin used both fins to whistle as loud as he could.

“I’m still going to have to pay for all this damage!” Principal Brown shouted excitedly as he clapped.

As the applause died down, the only sound left was Miss Simian doing the slowest clap all those present had ever heard. For a solid thirty seconds, the primate clapped and clapped, the sound echoing throughout the room.

When Miss Simian finally stopped, she slowly stepped up to Gumball, looking down at the blue cat with a scowl that could peel paint, and probably had before.

“Get out of my face,” she said to Gumball. “All three of you!” she shouted at Felix and Darwin.

“So Gumball won the bet?” Darwin asked innocently.

“Yes, now go!” Miss Simian screeched as Gumball, Felix, and Darwin headed toward the classroom door.

It was only when they got to the doorway that the trio ran into a lighter blue cat and a huge pink rabbit, the two animals still as petrified as everyone else in the room was just a few moments ago.

“Hi, Mrs. Mom and Mr. Dad!” Darwin squealed happily up at his parents, Nicole and Richard Watterson.

Nicole and Richard didn’t seem to hear their son, their faces still unchanged

“Mom? Dad?” Gumball asked, standing on his tippy toes and snapping his fingers in front of their faces.

“We saw everything. I have… too many questions,” Nicole said slowly, the lighter blue cat reaching her head over the trio and looking around the classroom behind them, as if the answer was somehow in there. All she could see was Miss Simian destroying everything that was not nailed down, Principal Brown trying in vain to stop her.

“I’d be happy to help answer them,” Felix chimed in, holding a paw out to Nicole. “I take it you’re Mrs. Watterson. Pleasure to meet you. I’m Felix the Cat, unemployed and overjoyed.”

“We can tell you everything in the car,” Gumball nodded.

The clang of dishes and silverware echoed throughout the Watterson dining room as everyone settled in to eat, conversation amongst the family and their special celebrity guest passing around to and fro. Gumball and Darwin, however, were far too focused on regaining the calories they’d lost skipping lunch for a whole month to pay much attention to social mores. Felix, then, benefitting from having an audience, was more than willing to pick up the social slack left by the Watterson boys.

After eating a mouthful of mashed potatoes, Felix turned to Nicole and said, “Let me be the first to say, Mrs. Watterson, you are quite the cook.”

“Oh ho, please. Call me Nicole!” she said as a slight blush formed on her cheeks.

“Well, that’s just a lovely name, isn’t it, Nicole?” Felix asked with a wink.

“He seems nice,” Richard said to himself with an earnest smile as he saw his wife’s face disappear behind her paws in a fit of giggles.

Meanwhile, Anais Watterson looked upon the scene with a scowl on her cute, little face. The young rabbit only met this strange, new cat when he happened to follow her family through the front door, their rapturous conversation distracting her from the season premiere of the Daisy the Donkey Show. She asked to stay home to watch it while her parents picked up her troublesome brother from detention, and because of all their noise, she missed Daisy’s Lesson of the Day!

“But of course,” Felix went on, “I wouldn’t expect anything less from a mother who cares for such a lovely family.”

“Oh, stop!” Nicole giggled some more, giving a slight wave with her paw as her cheeks reddened further. “I just do what any mother would for her family.”

“Like how mother hyenas in the wild are known to take an aggressive role when leading their pride,” Richard said solemnly between mouthfuls of meatloaf.

Everyone at the table, except for Gumball and Darwin, who were still gorging themselves, stared at the big, pink rabbit for a few long moments. Little did they know that Richard had fallen asleep while watching a nature documentary. The knowledge passed down from the stuffy British narrator subliminally into the patriarchal Watterson’s subconscious.

“And like how the female praying mantis is known to eat the male during—”

“Anyway!” Felix interrupted, his paws slapping the dinner table, dishware rattling just enough to distract the Watterson boys from devouring everything put in front of them, “I wanted to take this moment to say that I think Gumball here is quite the brilliant cat.”

“Ha!” exclaimed Anais, the mere thought of anyone considering her brother smart giving her quite the cause for a guffaw. “Mom, how could you let someone like this into our house?! Who knows how crazy he actually is if he thinks _Gumball_ is brilliant? _Gumball_ locked himself in the dryer once because he thought it would be cheaper than getting a perm at the hairdresser!” the tiny rabbit squeaked with indignation.

“And it looked great!” Gumball squealed, holding the picture up on his phone for all to see.

“Unh! Ah!” Anais held her arms out, exasperated.

“Anais, dear, there’s more than one way to be brilliant, you know. Comedy is a rigorous field of study all on its own!” Nicole said, the mother happy to just once have a chance to feel pride for one of the male members of her family.

“Then maybe dad _was_ right to save up for one of us to go to clown college,” Anais muttered under her breath, tiny arms crossed.

Felix stared at the young rabbit for just a moment, a look of melancholy on his face. Then, in that same moment, the black cat gasped.

“_I got it!_” Felix yelled, shaking the room.

Perhaps he was a bit too loud, as he noticed the Wattersons sat back in their chairs in shock.

“Oh, sorry,” Felix blushed, “But, as I was saying, it’s been quite a pleasure working with Gumball today. I hope you realize I don’t give these compliments lightly.”

“Oh my, my little Gummypuss, it sounds like you made quite the positive impression on someone today!” Nicole said, her eyes twinkling with maternal glee.

Hiding his smirk at Nicole’s affectionate nickname for her son, Felix continued, “That’s why I think it’s just wonderful that Anais here gave me an idea.”

Anais shot a quizzical look at Felix upon hearing her name. The only idea she’d tried to convey about Gumball was that he was a catastrophe waiting to happen! He was the feline equivalent of a giant tank hurtling toward city hall. A tank that spits fire. And with the head of an angry politician! A politician that got caught—

"I'd like to take your son under my wing,” Felix said, sitting up as tall as he could get. “Give him lessons. I can't exactly meet him in person, but maybe we can do a video chat once a week or something."

Nicole’s eyes lit up so bright that, for just a moment, the Watterson house could be seen from space. If anyone at the table was listening carefully, they might have heard Mr. Robinson’s anguished scream of, “The light! My _eyes!!!_”

“My goodness Gumball, what a great day for you! You actually have an older male role model in your life! Oooh!” Nicole squeaked, feeling some strange form of relief that she was no longer forced to be the sole older positive influence in Gumball’s life. “Someone who can teach you a _trade_ and help you find your way to _success!_”

Richard looked back and forth between Nicole and Felix. "Hey, I thought I…" he started, before being distracted by a fly buzzing around his head. In one fluid motion, uncharacteristic of the big, pink lug, Richard staked the fly on his fork. Staring at the morsel for more than a few suspenseful moments, Richard slowly brought the fork to his mouth, before stopping himself just in time. "No, not again," he said, throwing the utensil down with a healthy amount of dramatic flair.

“So, wait, am I gonna be, like, your apprentice now or something?” Gumball asked. Images flashed through his head of working in a smithy, with Felix as his overbearing and nearly unintelligible master telling him that all of the swords he was making weren't even fit to cut butter.

Felix pondered, “More like… my student!”

“Your… student?” Gumball gulped. His entire body turned stiff as the grave, as the only thing he could see in his mind now was Felix the Cat after he had taken some disastrous fashion cues from Miss Simian. With a high-pitched screech, the poorly-dressed Felix in Gumball’s head screamed. _Watterson! Detention! Forever!_

“Exactly!” Felix smirked, seeing the priceless look on Gumball’s face, “And students… get homework.”

“Hoooooooooomeworkbluuuuuuugh,” Gumball groaned as he deflated with an audible squeak out of his chair and onto the floor.

“And your homework,” Felix started as he reached into his pocket, “Is to watch cartoons!” the black cat finished with a smile, presenting the flat Gumball with a DVD box set. The case was all black with white text, the title proudly announcing _Classic Felix the Cat_ in big, bubble letters, Felix’s autograph in white marker along the bottom.

Gumball inflated back to normal so quickly that he rose into the air for a few seconds as a glorious heavenly choir erupted. Did he hear that correctly? He got told to _watch cartoons _for _homework?!_ He floated in ecstasy for a few seconds longer before he finally sat back in his chair.

“Just don’t make this one into a car too, alright, kiddo?” Felix asked with a wink as he handed Gumball the box set.

Gumball took the set from Felix with the reverence one might give to a holy relic, the heavenly choir fading out as he physically touched it with shaking paws.

“I’ll guard it with my life,” Gumball said with unusual determination.

Everyone else at the dinner table watched as the scene between the two cats unfolded before them. While no one can say for sure when they’ve happened upon a moment they’ll never forget, maybe, just maybe, this moment was one of them.

“You know what I just realized?” Darwin asked, making his presence known for the first time since dinner started. Everyone looked to the fish, giving him his chance to speak.

Darwin nodded before he spoke. “If Mr. Felix is one hundred years old, then how come he looks _and _sounds younger than Mrs. Mom and Mr. Dad?”

Darwin looked around the table.

Felix’s phone started to ring.

Answering his phone, Felix held up a finger, signaling his need for a minute.

“Talk to me! Yeah, I know. Yeah, I _know._ I can get you ginger ale. Just… I know! Okay, okay.” Sighing, Felix covered his phone as he looked over to the Wattersons.

“I gotta go in a minute here,” Felix said, stepping away at the table.

“Relax,” Felix said back into his phone as the Wattersons all looked away from the awkward conversation. “Just give me a few more minutes with these nice people.”

Suddenly, Felix looked over at Anais and gasped again. Anais was learning to strongly dislike this gasp.

“Poindexter, hey, there’s a sharp little rabbit here who I bet would _love_ to hear you talk about, y’know, whatever it is exactly that you get up to when I’m not in the lab,” Felix said into his phone, before tossing it to Anais. Looking to the rabbit, he asked gently, “Talk to my friend for me please while I say goodbye to your family, kiddo?”

Pleased with himself, Felix brushed himself off and turned to address Gumball directly, getting down on his knee to be level with the kitten.

“Gumball, I’m gonna be as serious as I can be here. I’ve not worked with anyone this talented in a long time. It’s making me rethink a few things,” Felix said as he looked Gumball square in the eyes.

_Uh-oh, looks like things are starting to get a little too heavy for me, _Gumball thought with a grimace.

“Like how they say talent skips a generation?” Gumball asked with a small laugh.

“Well, for the last…” Felix covered his mouth as he spoke, “…years or so, I’ve been content to just sit around and collect royalty checks, but maybe, in my advancing years, I should consider taking things a bit more seriously. I’m not much for sentiment, so I’m gonna stop right there, but lemme just say: you’re not the only one who’s gonna be watching their old cartoons tonight. I need to come up with some ideas of my own.”

Felix finished his speech as he stood over Anais, the bunny girl caught in a heated conversation over the phone.

“Please! You honestly expect me to believe that you’ve found conclusive proof that string theory is a perfect model of reality?! The theory itself isn’t falsifiable! Yes, I would like to hear your math!”

“Lemme write down his phone number for you,” Felix said to Anais, startling her more than a fair bit.

Taking his phone back and handing Anais a piece of paper, Felix started toward the front door, giving each member of the Watterson family a wave as he turned the door knob.

“Take care, Mr. Felix!” Darwin said with a smile on his face and a pair of wavy fins.

“Food ‘n’ Stuff has the best ginger ale!” Richard said officiously.

“It was so wonderful to meet you, Felix! I’m so happy you decided to come by this evening!” Nicole said brightly.

“No, no, no! You’re using that principle wrong, Poindexter!” Anais could be heard yelling into the family phone.

“Goodbye… Felix,” Gumball said, trying his best to hide the fact that he was tearing up.

Once Felix was gone, the Watterson family mostly went their separate ways, Darwin excusing himself to the computer in his bedroom, Richard _helping _with the leftovers, and Anais still chattering away on the phone with Felix’s friend.

With everything said and done, Gumball had but one question for his mom.

“_Please_ lemme watch this?!” he said, holding up the Felix box set as if it were an offering.

Nicole laughed, “Alright, dear, but just a couple episodes. You’ve had a long day and you look exhausted.”

Sprinting over to the couch and changing the input on the TV from a news report about a terrible traffic accident that caused an eight mile jam in the busiest street in Elmore, Gumball popped the first DVD into the player.

As the nostalgic sound of classic cartoon horns filled Gumball’s ears, he raised the remote with a shaky paw and started the first short.

It was at that moment, Gumball’s jaw dropped, for now he was filled a sorrow unknown to any twelve year-old before him.

These old Felix cartoons… they were silent!

Passing by and seeing the look on Gumball’s face, Nicole bent down to give her son a small kiss on his forehead.

“Now, now, Gummypuss,” Nicole said, “Nobody’s perfect.”

Meanwhile, in his hotel room on the other side of Elmore, Felix watched a video on his phone of a quirky cartoon cat selling the most disgusting looking cat food Felix had ever seen.

“Y’know what?” Felix asked himself as he looked at the black and white cat in the video. “I can’t argue the resemblance.”


End file.
